Another Glimpse....

Since we're on the subject of my past, now would also be a good time to tell you about another aspect of myself.

This will be a shorter post than last time.

I'm always there for other people, even though those people can't always be there for me. There's a reason for this.

My ex, back when we were still together. was always there for me. In thailand, workload was alot easier, so I was able to put in alot of effort into our relationship. As time went on though, the workload increased, and I found that at times, I wasnt always there for her, but I could always rely on her to be there for me when I needed the support.

Over time, I started slipping, and still she was there for me. She said it was ok, that she knew what I was going through, and that she was alright with it.

The thing was, I was the one who wasn't alright with it. After seeing her put that much effort into keeping our relationship alive, and seeing how much effort I put in, I couldn't bear it. It wasn't alright for me that she was the only one who was doing as much as she could.

After a year, we ended our relationship. Not because we couldn't stand the sight of each other, but because I wasnt comfortable with me just doing that much.

The day we broke up, she said to me: "I'll always be to lend an ear, I'll always be there for you, even though you're not always there for me"

Till today, we still talk alot. She's become something like a big sister (figuratively speaking, as she was only 1.52m tall) to me, and her last words she said to me have become sort of my de facto motto.


When all has gone dark, and the moon is gone
I'll be the lone candle, thats lit and found
Though the path may be gone, and the fear creeps in
I'll be right there, to guide you like your kin

I'm still there for you, even if you're not
Its all I can do, its all that I've got
Just remember, when your fire's drowned out
My fire's there, helping without a sound

Whether in the fields or behind closed doors
Whatever happens, my heart will beat with yours - Anonymous

Cheers
Healing Poet