Letter from 2009 to 2010

J-Z

A lot has changed since I came back to Singapore. You know, I remember you telling me once that when you're sad, you won't actually show it, you'll just laugh a lot, you know "hahahahaha" and all that. I remember a lot of things about us. Sometime later I visited your blog, and saw your post about your reaction after...that day. You told me you were alright. You have no idea how guilty I felt when I read your blog and found out how you really feel.

That was a lie wasn't it? I broke something that day. And I want to apologize for it. I know that it doesn't help and it doesn't really matter now because that's all behind us, but I never got to truly say that I was sorry for it, and I am.

I'm happy now, however. I'm happy because We don't treat each other like exes normally treat each other. I'm happy that we still talk and all. I was afraid when I found out you have a bf that we would lose contact, but still we're talking, and I hope that things are comfortable between you and me, that we can still consider each other friends.

I never told you this, but after it ended, the way we were still talking, You became...almost like a big sister to me...at least, as big as you can get :P. You remember?

Make no mistake, I'm not hoping for things to go back to the way they used to be. Hell, I don't think it should, but I hope that you will still see me as a guy who cares for you as a good friend.

I've always seen you as an angel. Caring, sweet, and let's face it, your pretty as well. and I believe that won't change anytime soon. I feel honored just to be friends with you.

I want that to continue. I want us to remain friends for as long as possible.

I hope that this note can explain somethings to you. Happy new year :) and have a great 2010.

Regards,

Sky.

1st in a long time

Her desk cluttered with papers,
A mixture of documents and old
Love letters. She reads through them
without abandon, a twinkle in her
eyes, content and yet wanting.

She's beautiful, in every sense of
The word. Funny, caring, and
stunning, she's a vision to many
and to a lucky few, a friend.

Her eyes glow despite the light
coming from a lone candle on her
Table, they shine througout

One of the love letters catches
Her attention. It has no name

All that's on it is this poem.

Sentinel on the Cliff

This blog died for a while, Now I'm reviving it. 1st post in a long time.

He runs through the woods on nimble feet, making not a sound. It's instinct to him, how he never hits a tree, or stumbles on the gray branches and brambles that litter the forest floor. Clear and keen eyes scan his path, noting every crack in the ground. Every puddle, leaf, twig and bug is taken in stride.

He runs on, an unhindered soul beating with life on this cold autumn night. Every muscle of his ripples in unison, working not as seperate entities, but a single, focused power, as he charges through the underbrush. Stopping not, on and on he runs. Without fear, without inhibitions, he runs. Through the black, he runs.

Silent as the wind, he speeds through the darkness. Shadow upon shadow, few see, and those who see, none react, for they know it is futile to catch the ghost among the trees.

There! amongst the trees! a slimmer of light. He alters his path towards it. Every step brings him closer, every bound he takes brings him nearer to the light. The trail begins to go uphill. The soil slowly replaced with stone, angled in such a way no other would dare scale it. With everystep, it gets harder. every foot infront of the other, more effort is needed, more is put in. It is a hard climb.

But he will not be denied.

With a final snarl of defiance, he bursts from the treeline, onto the protruding cliff. Eyes a bright yellow look across up at the stars and full moon. He draws breath, filling his lungs with fresh air.

He lets loose the air in a long, unyielding howl.

The Sentinel on the cliff watches all.

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

Silence

The tape has been pulled from my
mouth, the gag removed. The bonds
Cut from my hands and feet, and my
resolve renewed.

For a time my voice was lost. For a
time, I had nothing, I was quiet.
But silence has a way of making many
things desired.

I'm back ladies and Gentlemen.

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

Trail of letters

Half of me is hoping that you you will read this, that you still visit this blog. The other half hopes you don't see this.

However, if you are reading this, thank you for listening...really.

To you, it may look like I'm in possession of a vast amount of happiness that I take with me wherever I go, but even I need to get things off my chest at times. I know you're busy and stuff, so don't worry. I just feel more...distant from everything, almost like I have to wade through syrup to get to everything...to everyone...to you.

Sigh, it's been tough, the past few weeks, all the stress and work etc...But don't get me wrong, every smile I had was still genuine.

I still feel distant. And I don't know why.

Sigh, enough self brooding for now. Need to start smiling again.

Cheers and Waiting,

Healing Poet

Word Definitions

Circumvent: What you tell your boss when he is stressed out

Balderdash: A bald guy winning a marathon

Willy-Nilly: A guy with no bump in his pants

Idiosyncracy: Idiots line dancing

Testimony: checking your wallet

If you get what they mean, then good for you

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

Wrappers strewn about the floor
A tree with leaves moulting. So dry
An assortment of gifts scattered about
The floor while children scamper about
Merrily ripping paper of packages

No other day would anyone be so happy
To see a house so messy.

Merry Christmas All :P

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

Hello there

Hello there friend.
Use your time to be happy
You are a walking marvel
You have n equal
You are unique, ireeplaceable.
Did you know that?
Why aren't you surprsed?
Why aren't you glad, astonished
about yourself
and about everyone else
you know?
Do you think that it's so natural,
so obvious,
that you are alive,
that you can go on living,
that you are given time
to sing and dance,
and to be happy?
Why then lose your time
in senseless pursuit
of money and possessions?
Why make a rowd of worries
of tomorrow and days after tomorrow?
Why quarrel, bore yourself?
Why drown yourself in empty amusements
and then sleep when the sun shines?
Take your time quietly and be happy

Time is no speedway

between the cradle and the grave

but space

to find a place in the sun

Hello there by Phil Bosmans.

Cheers and Waiting

Healing Poet

Untitled

It's been quiet lately. Like the calm before a storm or something (lol). Well don't feel bad. Seriously. You shouldn't :)

After all, If you need to talk...

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

A note that brings longing

I wrote this for a competition. The theme was "make me hear music"

It won honorable mention.

Listen to me as I play your song through

Minors of heartache, through majors of

Love. Every string I pluck, every note I

Play, is meant to how you what I want,

What I cannot say.

Sing with me as I play your tune out in

Soft and sweet chords, and sadness

Without. Every beat of your heart, In

Sync with this song while we hear the

Rich tones, with feelings so strong

And when we reach the end, let me

Play your lullaby. Each note, black or

White, is like saying goodbye. Each

Key brings tears, each tear, a memory

Always remembered, always a story.

Cheers and Waiting

Healing Poet

Tears of a garden

She is standing in the garden, looking around
Her, but not seeing. Listening around her, but
Not hearing. She's numb to the world, numb to
Everything. Slowly at first, then all in a torrent,
The feelings, the emotions return.

She holds it together at first. She's good at it. She
Has to be. But after a while, memory after memory
Hurt after hurt, she starts to break down. She can't
Hold it in. Slowly, the tears start to fall. Slowly, she
Lets herself get lost amid the current of strife.

She nearly falls. She would Have if not for arms that
caught her. She looks at him,Tries to look away, but
he catches her face gently inBoth hands. He sees eyes
that shine despite the Tears that pool in them, stares into
eyes that speak volumes despite being silenced by sobs

To him, shes beautiful. She may not think so, but he
Wants her to see. Wants her to see what he sees, that she
Is worth every bit of effort. Worth every tear she shed,
Worth every word she spoke, worth everything. He looks
At her while she looks at him, niether finding words.

Soon, her tears are not the only ones falling. Heaven itself
Begins to weep in sync with her. Huge cold drops of rain
Descend upon the garden. She lets go of him reluctantly.
He is reluctant to let her go. She runs to the door, fumbles
With the key. She unlocks it goes into the house and locks up.

She can't cry anymore. She's let it all out. But that does not
Stop the pain. She peeks through the window. He's still
Standing there. Being soaked by the rain. She sees him shiver
She is torn between letting him wait and letting him in. She
Is scared to let anyone else enter her last sanctuary.

Outside, He smiles despite himself. He would rather choose
To wait than force it upon her. As the rain soaks through his
Shirt, his shoes. Everytime he falters, he reminds himself of what
he said, what he meant. He reminds himself why he is doing this.

Because she is worth every drop of rain that falls.

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

Penny for my thoughts

I saw the post. I've moved on,
but I haven't forgotten
Nor will I ever forget.

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

One for me, One for someone else

One for me

The Magician

Black suit, white shirt
buttoned down just a few,
just enough to tease
the ladies

His coffee eyes twinkle
with mischief as he strides
up the stairs tonight
once again

White teeth, blindingly so,
an enigmatic grin
to engage and enamor
the audience

The Magician.
He's the star tonight.


One for someone else

Guardian Angel

Slumped against the wall of her room, staring
At the scene before her. Clean bed, neatly
Arranged books, they don't show the real her
The room is too stark, does not reflect the chaos
In her heart. She just wants to break free.

She's losing it, slowly but surely. Like a tap when
It's just been turned off, the water starts to drip
Slower and slower. Till all that is left is the echo as
Each drop hits the bottom of the sink, as it slowly
Slides down and disappears into the abyss of her soul

Every minute, every hour, a little of her wastes away
Into nothing. She 's running out of time. She doesn't
Know what she's waiting for. She slowly sinks lower into
Depression. She's about to do something she knows she
Will regret. She can't help it. It's calling to her.

She's about to start, her arms start to shake, when firm
But gentle hands hold them down. She looks up to see him
Looking at her through warm eyes. She knows he caught him
Knows he should be angry, but he's not. He simply brings her
Hand up, he gently kisses her wrist. He knows how she's suffering

He sits down, slowly pulls her towards him in a soft, gentle embrace
She clings to him, not desperately, but with relief. He feels the
Desperation coursing through the both of them. Two wings on his back
Fold neatly around them like a blanket, protecting them from cold.
He should be in heaven, but he fell from grace a long time ago

He is her guardian angel, just as much as she is his

Cheers and Waiting,
Healing Poet

Same 2 poets, new conversation

Another conversation.

And she looks up at the sky, fighting back the urge to cry


He's standing beside her. He can't feel her, but he knows he has to try


Behind that smile hid her tear stained face, all that she's been through she's fallen from grace


Through the numbness he goes to hold her, wants to see her still radiant face


Tattered and torn, bruised and bedraggled. there goes her soul whipped and wasted


Gently he picks her up, he holds her because he knows its fated


These arms so strong, they made her feel wanted. still deep inside it felt so wrong


Through her tears, he feels her tense up. he knows she's waiting for the dawn


Tomorrow might come, it might never will, all lies in fate tightly sealed


As was said before, so stay awake today to enjoy the feel


Just wait up, time will heal


And just like that, our faith will be sealed




Cheers and Waiting

Healing Poet

2 poets, 3 conversations

A dialogue between two poets.

Conversation 1:
Soak my tears like paper towels and my anger like the sand bag.

And when this day is done your feelings will be the only truth you had

Release the shackles off my feet, so I can dance again for you.

The price of the freedom that you ask, is that of this your heart be true.

This hardcore reversal roleplay's gotta end someday

Oh but how we act, we can be ourselves in many different ways


Conversation 2

don't ever slow down, cos time won't wait up.
break the clock yet time wont stop.

But I find time is a friend who holds your cup
who slows with you when its all you've got

maybe all it ever does is make you look foward but had I a time machine still I wouldnt be bothered

agree I do. memories to be visited are not, but to be held your heart, by your soul be gathered

because for all you know tomorrow might never come .
and when tomorrow does come, i might not be found

so keep me awake today, so that we can have our fun
so that when all is said and done, we will say we lived by no bounds


Conversation 3:

slit my wrists and watch me bleed
oops I did it again, I really did

I'll hold you, tend to your wounds and help you break free
Even if you tried to make your own shackles, even a bit

an addiction it is, if i stop i get cold feet
so long and goodbye, it ends tonight

That's why im here, to take your eyes away from the false treat
There's no need to leave as long as we feel it's right

sad excuses and false hopes high,
the world is harsh, the world is blind

through the haze I will hold you tight
If we see with our souls, we have no need for sight

she can't stop that cycle, she can't get out,
please hold her really tight, dont let her go.

Let it go, let it out. scream with me, hear me shout.
Through the storm I will hold you till once more do you glow

the lost shine all stuck back,
wouldn't be that perfect again

Like a jigsaw puzzle from a sack
each piece still plays a part of the plan

but she's been wasted and so broken down
till the sun loses it shine, she wouldn't be found

I'll do my best to draw a smile from your frown
but remember, you shine because you have no bounds

when everything seems to go so wrong
all she knows is pain is good.

Then I will pull her up, gently sing her a song
ease the pain and set a lighter mood

what if she wants to be left alone,
to feel the pain to rid the hurt

I'd remind you that the pain will pass as she grows
Still holding you as your tears fall on my shirt

she's a wreck, she's so screwed
just leave her be,that would be good

I won't let you fall, I won't let you brood
I want you to see that my heart is true

how would she know.who can she trust.
she has been stupid for people she loved

It's all based on faith, i can help you adjust
I'm standing with you on the edge. are you ready to jump?

free-falling unto the unknown scares me alright
but i know i'll be just fine, with you by my side

just believe, and we will glow so bright
I'll hold you tight. you can be my guide

Here it is in all it's entirety. Enjoy

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

Dying to Live

Feet crunching through the cobbled
Stones and gravel, I'm walking with
Those close to me. The great tree is in
The distance, once alive, now an eternal
Sentinel watching over us on our journey

We traverse the land, through forests, fields
Quarries and valleys, yet whenever we look up
The tree is always there watching over us. It's
Black branches reaching outlike the hands of a
Wizened old man seeking to comfort us.

We walk on and on, but we slowly lose hope.
One by one, those with me dwindle. One by one
They lose sight of themselves and leave the rest
Of us to continue on our own. We trudge on
Through rain, through sun, we trudge on.

Near the end of the journey, only two of us
Remain. She holds me in her arms as I hold her
In my heart. We finally reach the tree. Its wicker
Form sways in the wind, looking much in need of
Care. We stand, backs to the tree. We hold each other

Cheers and Waiting,
Healing Poet

Life as we want it?

The sun is rising, soft light falls through the
Window, bathing everything in a soft
Yellow glow. He wakes up, puts his feet on
The floor, he's alone, but now he wants more.

He walks out the door, flinches as the sun
Hits his face. The light shines on him with such
Grace, almost as if to say, "today is
Your day," that he can do it all his way.

He walks down the stairs, his house is near the
Beach. He raises his arms, as far as he
Can reach. He pushes the door open with his
Hand, he walks to the beach, down to the sand

He's standing on the shore, he seems deep in
Thought. The water round his heels, remembers
What he's taught. So full of life, so full of
Dreams, he greets the sun. He's content, so it seems.

He hears her voice, and all his doubt is washed
Away. He turns to her, her face as bright As day.
Ever so loving, they meet, they Embrace.
Together, they watch the sun rise with grace.

Cheers and Waiting,
Healing Poet

Reflections in a mirror

Staring through long curls of black and auburn,
Eyes of dark brown survey the scene before
Him. A sheet of crisp white paper sits on the
Table infront of him, illuminated by a candle. He
Tousles the highlighted hair aside as he picks
Up his pen, and lets it all flow from him.

The words tumble out from him in a cavalcade
Of metaphors and feelings. He marshalls them
Into lines of thought, lines of emotions, carresses
Each word as it has come from his heart, Writes
Each word with the passion and care of a lover
He gives life to the once blank sheet of paper.

The candle is nearly out, the light sinking so low
To the table it blackens the wood around it. He
is almost finished. The words have not stopped
Flowing. He has much to write about, much to pen
Out. Finally, the last word has been recorded, has
Been immortalised on the paper. He has done it

Behold, his heart translated in writing.

Cheers and Waiting,
Healing Poet

Post Tidbit

Ruffled by the wind, the writer’s
hair framed his face, marred by
the scars of his vanity.
No wonder he’s single.

This was written for me by someone. I like it

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

I don't normally break the fourth wall by talking directly to readers, it's just those who assume I'm talking to them. This time however, I'm going to talk directly to you.

Songs that I want to be able to use to describe how I feel now:

Heaven by Bryan Adams
With you by Chris Brown
Accidentally in Love by Counting Crows (great song)
First time ever I saw your face by David Cook
You are so beautiful by Joe Cocker/Taylor Hicks

Songs that actually describe how I feel now:

One Last Cry by Brian Mcknight
You're beautiful by James Blunt
Dreaming with a broken heart by John Mayer
I'll be right here waiting by Bryan Adams (in a sense)
Passion by Hector Corcin (Instrumental, but you know what I'm getting at)
Better than me by Hinder (certain parts)

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet