Healing Poet

Letter from 2009 to 2010

2010-01-02T23:40:00.004+08:00

J-Z

A lot has changed since I came back to Singapore. You know, I remember you telling me once that when you're sad, you won't actually show it, you'll just laugh a lot, you know "hahahahaha" and all that. I remember a lot of things about us. Sometime later I visited your blog, and saw your post about your reaction after...that day. You told me you were alright. You have no idea how guilty I felt when I read your blog and found out how you really feel.

That was a lie wasn't it? I broke something that day. And I want to apologize for it. I know that it doesn't help and it doesn't really matter now because that's all behind us, but I never got to truly say that I was sorry for it, and I am.

I'm happy now, however. I'm happy because We don't treat each other like exes normally treat each other. I'm happy that we still talk and all. I was afraid when I found out you have a bf that we would lose contact, but still we're talking, and I hope that things are comfortable between you and me, that we can still consider each other friends.

I never told you this, but after it ended, the way we were still talking, You became...almost like a big sister to me...at least, as big as you can get :P. You remember? I used to call you angel and you called me sky. But it was after we broke up that you really became an angel to me, when we would talk and you gave me advice here and there...

Make no mistake, I'm not hoping for things to go back to the way they used to be. Hell, I don't think it should, but I hope that you will still see me as a guy who cares for you as a good friend.

I've always seen you as an angel. Caring, sweet, and let's face it, your pretty as well. and I believe that won't change anytime soon. I feel honored just to be friends with you.

I want that to continue. I want us to remain friends for as long as possible.

I hope that this note can explain somethings to you. Happy new year :) and have a great 2010.

Regards,

Sky.

1st in a long time

2009-07-09T22:50:00.001+08:00

Her desk cluttered with papers,
A mixture of documents and old
Love letters. She reads through them
without abandon, a twinkle in her
eyes, content and yet wanting.

She's beautiful, in every sense of
The word. Funny, caring, and
stunning, she's a vision to many
and to a lucky few, a friend.

Her eyes glow despite the light
coming from a lone candle on her
Table, they shine througout

One of the love letters catches
Her attention. It has no name

All that's on it is this poem.

Sentinel on the Cliff

2009-03-10T20:14:00.002+08:00

This blog died for a while, Now I'm reviving it. 1st post in a long time.

He runs through the woods on nimble feet, making not a sound. It's instinct to him, how he never hits a tree, or stumbles on the gray branches and brambles that litter the forest floor. Clear and keen eyes scan his path, noting every crack in the ground. Every puddle, leaf, twig and bug is taken in stride.

He runs on, an unhindered soul beating with life on this cold autumn night. Every muscle of his ripples in unison, working not as seperate entities, but a single, focused power, as he charges through the underbrush. Stopping not, on and on he runs. Without fear, without inhibitions, he runs. Through the black, he runs.

Silent as the wind, he speeds through the darkness. Shadow upon shadow, few see, and those who see, none react, for they know it is futile to catch the ghost among the trees.

There! amongst the trees! a slimmer of light. He alters his path towards it. Every step brings him closer, every bound he takes brings him nearer to the light. The trail begins to go uphill. The soil slowly replaced with stone, angled in such a way no other would dare scale it. With everystep, it gets harder. every foot infront of the other, more effort is needed, more is put in. It is a hard climb.

But he will not be denied.

With a final snarl of defiance, he bursts from the treeline, onto the protruding cliff. Eyes a bright yellow look across up at the stars and full moon. He draws breath, filling his lungs with fresh air.

He lets loose the air in a long, unyielding howl.

The Sentinel on the cliff watches all.

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

Silence

2009-01-22T16:15:00.002+08:00

The tape has been pulled from my
mouth, the gag removed. The bonds
Cut from my hands and feet, and my
resolve renewed.

For a time my voice was lost. For a
time, I had nothing, I was quiet.
But silence has a way of making many
things desired.

I'm back ladies and Gentlemen.

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

Trail of letters

2009-01-10T20:13:00.003+08:00

Half of me is hoping that you you will read this, that you still visit this blog. The other half hopes you don't see this.

However, if you are reading this, thank you for listening...really.

To you, it may look like I'm in possession of a vast amount of happiness that I take with me wherever I go, but even I need to get things off my chest at times. I know you're busy and stuff, so don't worry. I just feel more...distant from everything, almost like I have to wade through syrup to get to everything...to everyone...to you.

Sigh, it's been tough, the past few weeks, all the stress and work etc...But don't get me wrong, every smile I had was still genuine.

I still feel distant. And I don't know why.

Sigh, enough self brooding for now. Need to start smiling again.

Cheers and Waiting,

Healing Poet

Word Definitions

2009-01-06T08:34:00.004+08:00

Circumvent: What you tell your boss when he is stressed out

Balderdash: A bald guy winning a marathon

Willy-Nilly: A guy with no bump in his pants

Idiosyncracy: Idiots line dancing

Testimony: checking your wallet

If you get what they mean, then good for you

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

2008-12-26T11:31:00.001+08:00

Wrappers strewn about the floor
A tree with leaves moulting. So dry
An assortment of gifts scattered about
The floor while children scamper about
Merrily ripping paper of packages

No other day would anyone be so happy
To see a house so messy.

Merry Christmas All :P

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

Hello there

2008-12-11T14:53:00.002+08:00

Hello there friend.
Use your time to be happy
You are a walking marvel
You have n equal
You are unique, ireeplaceable.
Did you know that?
Why aren't you surprsed?
Why aren't you glad, astonished
about yourself
and about everyone else
you know?
Do you think that it's so natural,
so obvious,
that you are alive,
that you can go on living,
that you are given time
to sing and dance,
and to be happy?
Why then lose your time
in senseless pursuit
of money and possessions?
Why make a rowd of worries
of tomorrow and days after tomorrow?
Why quarrel, bore yourself?
Why drown yourself in empty amusements
and then sleep when the sun shines?
Take your time quietly and be happy

Time is no speedway

between the cradle and the grave

but space

to find a place in the sun

Hello there by Phil Bosmans.

Cheers and Waiting

Healing Poet

Untitled

2008-11-29T20:55:00.002+08:00

It's been quiet lately. Like the calm before a storm or something (lol). Well don't feel bad. Seriously. You shouldn't :)

After all, If you need to talk...

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

A note that brings longing

2008-11-25T19:19:00.004+08:00

I wrote this for a competition. The theme was "make me hear music"

It won honorable mention.

Listen to me as I play your song through

Minors of heartache, through majors of

Love. Every string I pluck, every note I

Play, is meant to how you what I want,

What I cannot say.

Sing with me as I play your tune out in

Soft and sweet chords, and sadness

Without. Every beat of your heart, In

Sync with this song while we hear the

Rich tones, with feelings so strong

And when we reach the end, let me

Play your lullaby. Each note, black or

White, is like saying goodbye. Each

Key brings tears, each tear, a memory

Always remembered, always a story.

Cheers and Waiting

Healing Poet

Tears of a garden

2008-11-18T21:14:00.004+08:00

She is standing in the garden, looking around
Her, but not seeing. Listening around her, but
Not hearing. She's numb to the world, numb to
Everything. Slowly at first, then all in a torrent,
The feelings, the emotions return.

She holds it together at first. She's good at it. She
Has to be. But after a while, memory after memory
Hurt after hurt, she starts to break down. She can't
Hold it in. Slowly, the tears start to fall. Slowly, she
Lets herself get lost amid the current of strife.

She nearly falls. She would Have if not for arms that
caught her. She looks at him,Tries to look away, but
he catches her face gently inBoth hands. He sees eyes
that shine despite the Tears that pool in them, stares into
eyes that speak volumes despite being silenced by sobs

To him, shes beautiful. She may not think so, but he
Wants her to see. Wants her to see what he sees, that she
Is worth every bit of effort. Worth every tear she shed,
Worth every word she spoke, worth everything. He looks
At her while she looks at him, niether finding words.

Soon, her tears are not the only ones falling. Heaven itself
Begins to weep in sync with her. Huge cold drops of rain
Descend upon the garden. She lets go of him reluctantly.
He is reluctant to let her go. She runs to the door, fumbles
With the key. She unlocks it goes into the house and locks up.

She can't cry anymore. She's let it all out. But that does not
Stop the pain. She peeks through the window. He's still
Standing there. Being soaked by the rain. She sees him shiver
She is torn between letting him wait and letting him in. She
Is scared to let anyone else enter her last sanctuary.

Outside, He smiles despite himself. He would rather choose
To wait than force it upon her. As the rain soaks through his
Shirt, his shoes. Everytime he falters, he reminds himself of what
he said, what he meant. He reminds himself why he is doing this.

Because she is worth every drop of rain that falls.

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

Penny for my thoughts

2008-11-16T18:53:00.002+08:00

I saw the post. I've moved on,
but I haven't forgotten
Nor will I ever forget.

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

One for me, One for someone else

2008-11-14T20:05:00.003+08:00

One for me

The Magician

Black suit, white shirt
buttoned down just a few,
just enough to tease
the ladies

His coffee eyes twinkle
with mischief as he strides
up the stairs tonight
once again

White teeth, blindingly so,
an enigmatic grin
to engage and enamor
the audience

The Magician.
He's the star tonight.

One for someone else

Guardian Angel

Slumped against the wall of her room, staring
At the scene before her. Clean bed, neatly
Arranged books, they don't show the real her
The room is too stark, does not reflect the chaos
In her heart. She just wants to break free.

She's losing it, slowly but surely. Like a tap when
It's just been turned off, the water starts to drip
Slower and slower. Till all that is left is the echo as
Each drop hits the bottom of the sink, as it slowly
Slides down and disappears into the abyss of her soul

Every minute, every hour, a little of her wastes away
Into nothing. She 's running out of time. She doesn't
Know what she's waiting for. She slowly sinks lower into
Depression. She's about to do something she knows she
Will regret. She can't help it. It's calling to her.

She's about to start, her arms start to shake, when firm
But gentle hands hold them down. She looks up to see him
Looking at her through warm eyes. She knows he caught him
Knows he should be angry, but he's not. He simply brings her
Hand up, he gently kisses her wrist. He knows how she's suffering

He sits down, slowly pulls her towards him in a soft, gentle embrace
She clings to him, not desperately, but with relief. He feels the
Desperation coursing through the both of them. Two wings on his back
Fold neatly around them like a blanket, protecting them from cold.
He should be in heaven, but he fell from grace a long time ago

He is her guardian angel, just as much as she is his

Cheers and Waiting,
Healing Poet

Same 2 poets, new conversation

2008-11-12T21:44:00.002+08:00

Another conversation.

And she looks up at the sky, fighting back the urge to cry

He's standing beside her. He can't feel her, but he knows he has to try

Behind that smile hid her tear stained face, all that she's been through she's fallen from grace

Through the numbness he goes to hold her, wants to see her still radiant face

Tattered and torn, bruised and bedraggled. there goes her soul whipped and wasted

Gently he picks her up, he holds her because he knows its fated

These arms so strong, they made her feel wanted. still deep inside it felt so wrong

Through her tears, he feels her tense up. he knows she's waiting for the dawn

Tomorrow might come, it might never will, all lies in fate tightly sealed

As was said before, so stay awake today to enjoy the feel

Just wait up, time will heal

And just like that, our faith will be sealed

Cheers and Waiting

Healing Poet

2 poets, 3 conversations

2008-11-11T20:38:00.004+08:00

A dialogue between two poets.

Conversation 1:
Soak my tears like paper towels and my anger like the sand bag.

And when this day is done your feelings will be the only truth you had

Release the shackles off my feet, so I can dance again for you.

The price of the freedom that you ask, is that of this your heart be true.

This hardcore reversal roleplay's gotta end someday

Oh but how we act, we can be ourselves in many different ways

Conversation 2

don't ever slow down, cos time won't wait up.
break the clock yet time wont stop.

But I find time is a friend who holds your cup
who slows with you when its all you've got

maybe all it ever does is make you look foward but had I a time machine still I wouldnt be bothered

agree I do. memories to be visited are not, but to be held your heart, by your soul be gathered

because for all you know tomorrow might never come .
and when tomorrow does come, i might not be found

so keep me awake today, so that we can have our fun
so that when all is said and done, we will say we lived by no bounds

Conversation 3:

slit my wrists and watch me bleed
oops I did it again, I really did

I'll hold you, tend to your wounds and help you break free
Even if you tried to make your own shackles, even a bit

an addiction it is, if i stop i get cold feet
so long and goodbye, it ends tonight

That's why im here, to take your eyes away from the false treat
There's no need to leave as long as we feel it's right

sad excuses and false hopes high,
the world is harsh, the world is blind

through the haze I will hold you tight
If we see with our souls, we have no need for sight

she can't stop that cycle, she can't get out,
please hold her really tight, dont let her go.

Let it go, let it out. scream with me, hear me shout.
Through the storm I will hold you till once more do you glow

the lost shine all stuck back,
wouldn't be that perfect again

Like a jigsaw puzzle from a sack
each piece still plays a part of the plan

but she's been wasted and so broken down
till the sun loses it shine, she wouldn't be found

I'll do my best to draw a smile from your frown
but remember, you shine because you have no bounds

when everything seems to go so wrong
all she knows is pain is good.

Then I will pull her up, gently sing her a song
ease the pain and set a lighter mood

what if she wants to be left alone,
to feel the pain to rid the hurt

I'd remind you that the pain will pass as she grows
Still holding you as your tears fall on my shirt

she's a wreck, she's so screwed
just leave her be,that would be good

I won't let you fall, I won't let you brood
I want you to see that my heart is true

how would she know.who can she trust.
she has been stupid for people she loved

It's all based on faith, i can help you adjust
I'm standing with you on the edge. are you ready to jump?

free-falling unto the unknown scares me alright
but i know i'll be just fine, with you by my side

just believe, and we will glow so bright
I'll hold you tight. you can be my guide

Here it is in all it's entirety. Enjoy

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

Dying to Live

2008-11-10T20:20:00.003+08:00

Feet crunching through the cobbled
Stones and gravel, I'm walking with
Those close to me. The great tree is in
The distance, once alive, now an eternal
Sentinel watching over us on our journey

We traverse the land, through forests, fields
Quarries and valleys, yet whenever we look up
The tree is always there watching over us. It's
Black branches reaching outlike the hands of a
Wizened old man seeking to comfort us.

We walk on and on, but we slowly lose hope.
One by one, those with me dwindle. One by one
They lose sight of themselves and leave the rest
Of us to continue on our own. We trudge on
Through rain, through sun, we trudge on.

Near the end of the journey, only two of us
Remain. She holds me in her arms as I hold her
In my heart. We finally reach the tree. Its wicker
Form sways in the wind, looking much in need of
Care. We stand, backs to the tree. We hold each other

Cheers and Waiting,
Healing Poet

Life as we want it?

2008-11-09T20:31:00.002+08:00

The sun is rising, soft light falls through the
Window, bathing everything in a soft
Yellow glow. He wakes up, puts his feet on
The floor, he's alone, but now he wants more.

He walks out the door, flinches as the sun
Hits his face. The light shines on him with such
Grace, almost as if to say, "today is
Your day," that he can do it all his way.

He walks down the stairs, his house is near the
Beach. He raises his arms, as far as he
Can reach. He pushes the door open with his
Hand, he walks to the beach, down to the sand

He's standing on the shore, he seems deep in
Thought. The water round his heels, remembers
What he's taught. So full of life, so full of
Dreams, he greets the sun. He's content, so it seems.

He hears her voice, and all his doubt is washed
Away. He turns to her, her face as bright As day.
Ever so loving, they meet, they Embrace.
Together, they watch the sun rise with grace.

Cheers and Waiting,
Healing Poet

Reflections in a mirror

2008-11-08T21:57:00.003+08:00

Staring through long curls of black and auburn,
Eyes of dark brown survey the scene before
Him. A sheet of crisp white paper sits on the
Table infront of him, illuminated by a candle. He
Tousles the highlighted hair aside as he picks
Up his pen, and lets it all flow from him.

The words tumble out from him in a cavalcade
Of metaphors and feelings. He marshalls them
Into lines of thought, lines of emotions, carresses
Each word as it has come from his heart, Writes
Each word with the passion and care of a lover
He gives life to the once blank sheet of paper.

The candle is nearly out, the light sinking so low
To the table it blackens the wood around it. He
is almost finished. The words have not stopped
Flowing. He has much to write about, much to pen
Out. Finally, the last word has been recorded, has
Been immortalised on the paper. He has done it

Behold, his heart translated in writing.

Cheers and Waiting,
Healing Poet

Post Tidbit

2008-11-06T22:54:00.001+08:00

Ruffled by the wind, the writer’s
hair framed his face, marred by
the scars of his vanity.
No wonder he’s single.

This was written for me by someone. I like it

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

2008-11-03T20:25:00.003+08:00

I don't normally break the fourth wall by talking directly to readers, it's just those who assume I'm talking to them. This time however, I'm going to talk directly to you.

Songs that I want to be able to use to describe how I feel now:

Heaven by Bryan Adams
With you by Chris Brown
Accidentally in Love by Counting Crows (great song)
First time ever I saw your face by David Cook
You are so beautiful by Joe Cocker/Taylor Hicks

Songs that actually describe how I feel now:

One Last Cry by Brian Mcknight
You're beautiful by James Blunt
Dreaming with a broken heart by John Mayer
I'll be right here waiting by Bryan Adams (in a sense)
Passion by Hector Corcin (Instrumental, but you know what I'm getting at)
Better than me by Hinder (certain parts)

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

Magic

2008-10-29T21:17:00.003+08:00

Magic is all around us. I repeat, it is all around us. It's just been given different names. The way water turns into water vapour is called evaporation. The way we fly is called aerodynamics. the way we live is called anthropology. We have let science take over almost every facet of our lives. Not that that's a bad thing, but...lets face it, we are lost, and we have lost. We are lost in our own worlds of technology, drowning in all the latest advancements in communications, learning, development, it never ends. We have lost sight of the magic we once had. Even if we didn't know, we had to guts to believe in it. Now, we never do anything without proof that it works.

Why? Where is the faith? Where is the belief? where is the magic? My father used to tell me that he drank milk everyday as a boy to help him grow up strong. Now everyone is afraid to drink milk. Why? Because someone found something bad in ONE product. Then all the other skeletons were expunged.

No one has faith anymore. No one believes in anything anymore. That's what I miss.

He's staring at a candle. two candles. actually. He lighes one first, then the other. Their side by side, twin flames reaching upwards in the darkness. He watches as the flames seem almost attracted to each other, eventually creating one bigger than the sum of both seperately.

He found out something about her, something he should have figured out a long time beforehand. It wasn't a bad thing, but something he knows he should have asked about right from the beginning. It's not a bad thing per say. But he's kicking himself anyway.

Why? Ask him.

Cheers and Waiting,

Healing Poet

Requiem

2008-10-28T20:31:00.003+08:00

Every word I write today, I write with one intent in mind.

The warm summer evening just draws to a
Close, shimmers cross the water like golden
Cloves. Warm sand a sultry, yet vibrant hue,
Much like ochre under a sky a dark blue.

Even as the last rays of sunshine leaves
Her face, her features still bright, still retain
Their grace. Her beauty so bright, when the sun
has set, But there's still light, the first time we met.

She's making footsteps in the soft, warm sand
I make my own prints, make them with my hand
She joins me in my quest, she puts her hands in
My prints, we laugh alot, through heartfelt grins.

As the laughter dies down, the mood shifts so
slowly. The humour gives way, to new feelings
glowing. Let the feelings set in. We see
Each other, and so we speak from within.

All our secrets, fantasies, our goals and
Our dreams, all layed out, for the other to
See. What happens now, if I'll play it safe.
Well, we'll see. Because I'm willing to wait.

Cheers and Waiting
Healing Poet

Journey

2008-10-19T20:14:00.003+08:00

I walked this path I set for myself.
without chains, without inhibitions.

Without regrets.

Things I brought with me
A hand to hold, so I knew I was not alone
A consequence, for I knew no one could face them with me
A bit of my past, to remind me of my fears
A bit of my future, to remind me of my courage
A promise, to remind me to return
A broken heart, to remind me why I left
My thoughts, to show me how to follow my head
My feelings, to show me how to follow my heart
My pain, to help me when I was blinded by the light
My hope, to help me when all other lights went out
My tasks, to keep my feet on the ground
My goals, to help me dream

A radiant smile, to bind it all together.

Cheers and waiting,
Healing Poet

2008-10-09T12:04:00.003+08:00

Helping to hit me down, I will fall.
Over and over again, pick myself up.
Lonely, again and again. I will
Deepen my scars. Deepen the pain. See
Me, See the pain on my face.
Ever so sad, ever so determined
Trying again and again, telling myself
I will make it, telling my self I won't
Let go. Telling myself I will hold on.
Leaving me behind, I will push on.
I will make of this what I can. I will
Make of this a new dawn for me.
Broken once, I will collect the pieces
Ever so gently, piece by piece
Take each one and hold it to my chest
Take each one and like a jigsaw puzzle
Ever so softly, fit together, a shattered
Reminder of what once was.

2008-10-06T16:09:00.002+08:00

Farewell. I go to seek the great perhaps

Cheers and waiting

Healing Poet

Story

2008-09-30T15:21:00.005+08:00

Note: The following story and names included are entirely fictional.

The boy is dressed for a date. a pressed white button down shirt, nicely ironed pants. He's carrying a bouquet of flowers. He has an unreadable expression on his face. Happiness? Nervousness? Anxiety? You can't really tell.

He reaches the place where he is meeting the girl. A big stone tablet that's been there for sometime. words etched into the stone, well wishes and so on and so forth. He walks through a set of wrought iron gates, and walks along the path. He soon decides to take a shortcut and walks across the grass to the location. Finally, he reaches the meeting spot. She's already there. It seems like she's been there forever, waiting for him to arrive. She looks like how he always remembers her. Flowing shoulder length brown hair, tan skin from being out in the sun, warm brown eyes and a cute button nose.

"Hey there Auguste, I uhm...I brought this for you." He holds up the bouquet he brought. She stays silent, almost as if she is just as nervous as he is, too scared to say anything. He waits a few seconds. "I'll just...put it down here then." He places it on the stone tablet.

"I came here today because I need someone to talk to, and you are by far, the best listener I ever knew. Dad's kicked me out, mom's argueing with dad over his decision to kick me out. I'm crashing at a friend's place, but I'm not sure what I can do now".

She doesn't say anything, just looks at him. He knows what she's thinking. "I tried apologizing, yes. But he's in firewall mode. He needs to cool down first, then I'll go back."

He sighs. Just by listening, she helped him to see the solution to the problem. She had a talent for that. "Life has been...tough. It's hard to explain. Ever since...you know...it's been hard to adjust. I find myself dreaming during the day when I should be awake, and having nightmares when I should be asleep. I don't know anything anymore.

Again, out of respect, she remains silent. "Look you don't have to say anything. I just needed to confide in someone. And I know I can trust you.......Thank you. For everything." He places his hand on the tablet, remembering the last time he etched something into it. He remembers every carving and every fault of the tablet. He should know. He carved it himself. For a long time, he just stands there, remembering everything.

Finally, he places the bouquet infront of her and walks away from the place, smiling. She's smiling too, only her's is frozen in the picture of her. The last picture to ever be taken of her. It stands directly infront of the tablet. It reads

Auguste P. Libere

April 15, 1983 - April 22, 2005

Loved by all, most by one.

"I want you to live without regret"

He's walking away now, it seems as though a great weight has been lifted from his shoulders. He whistles lightly as he walks across the grass, and out the wrought iron gates.

"I never wished for the stars, only someone to watch them with"
Cheers and waiting,
Healing Poet

Catharsis?

2008-09-29T09:09:00.003+08:00

Why is it that almost everything I do causes me or someone else pain?

Oh thats right, because I'm an idiot. I'm a stupid, tactless, masochistic idiot.

I understand why you had to say that. Not that I hate you for saying that, more I hate myself for my inability to have said anything more meaningful when you said that.

Please understand why I do what I do/I did/I'm doing. Its a part of me that has remained constant throughout my life, either because I have been unable to change it or because I don't want to change it. I'm still not sure which. In situations like these, the line seems to blur between the two.

It might be a phase, I don't know. I really don't know. I suppose only time will tell.

Enjoy yourself by the way :) I'm not writing this to stop you. Its just a way of me to get rid of some angst :P

PS I wouldn't be surprised if you read this and laughed :P

Cheers and waiting
Healing Poet

Family Matters.

2008-09-28T21:05:00.002+08:00

First post on this blog ever about family.

Big arguement today. I got so fired up I yelled at my dad, but immediately after I wish I hadn't. He's got a hell of a lot of pride, that man. Even when I apoligized after shouting, he wanted to throw me out. Only mom managed to stop him. So now there's a stony silence. All attempts to communicate with dad have been in vein.

Look, don't take this the wrong way, but when/if I become a father, I hope I'm nothing like you. Sure, you respect us, you're the breadwinner, and all that, but you're too blunt, too much pride. You don't know when to back down. I have nothing more to say.

Cheers
Healing Poet

New promises, happier promises

2008-09-25T20:03:00.003+08:00

I know you're uncertain of the future. But frankly, so am I. We don't know how long it would take, or if it would even happen at all. But thats what hope's for. It keeps us happy while we wait, keeps us content for now. So at the end of it all, if it does happen, that hope has helped us prepare for it. If it doesn't, then at least during that time we were waiting, we were somewhat content.

Once whole, once broken, now sewn back together

Her moods as changing, as the turbulent weather.

But no matter the cost, with her hand in my palm,

I'll wait for her, for the weather to calm.

I'll keep thinking about that, and I hope you do too. I have...one last question for you.

"When alls been said and done, when this ink no longer shines,

Would you still allow me...to hold your hand in mine?"

Cheers

Healing Poet

Last Stand

2008-09-07T20:55:00.003+08:00

All around me, comrades fight.

They fall. Chaos, but we find our

centre. We find our purpose

Someone falls, we move to help, but

Too late, he is gone. His sacrifice

Will not be in vain. We will take this day yet

A lull in the battle, the enemy withdraws

A trap we know, to bait us out. No, we will

Stand. We will renew our vigour

Raise our voices. Sound the

Drums of defiance. Our last chant

Will echo across the memories of this day

Untitled

2008-08-27T07:33:00.002+08:00

I feel like an idiot for letting you go.

Cheers

Healing Poet

A Promise

2008-08-15T18:50:00.002+08:00

Its amazing how colours can change the mood of a picture. The word on the ring says "forever" by the way.

Conversation

2008-08-09T12:41:00.002+08:00

So Eric, are you sure there is no other way?

Yes Brandon, I'm sure of it. There's nothing else I can do.

But is what you want Eric? Are you prepared for the consequences should it go wrong?

I...I don't know if it's what I want, but I know that if I don't do it, I'd just be hurting myself. Moreover I'd be hurting her Lora, I'd be hurting her. Maybe not now, but in the long run.

If you won't listen to your heart, at least listen to your head Eric, don't just give up like that

And yet, to say the truth, reason and love keep little company together nowadays.

Shakespeare. You always were fascinated with words.

It's my whole life Brandon. At least it was before she came into my life.

You see!! That's my point!! You've changed in the time you've had with her. And you may not realise it, but so has she! By doing this you're breaking her more than yourself!

And what would you have me do Lora? Just stay with her and pretend everything's alright?! I cant. I just.....no lora, I can't. I have nothing but my words left.

She won't go easily Eric. You know that.

I know.

Exactly!!! Do you see now? You may not have much to lose, but she does!!

But it may be the best thing for her Lora.

How can you take his side?! Do you not see what he's doing?!

I'm sorry Lora, but I can't argue with him there.

Well, it seems that my arguements fall upon deaf ears. Fine. I'll leave now.

Thank you Brandon, and can you also thank Lora for me? For listening

I will Eric. Kirstie doesn't know...does she?

That I'm dying? No. That would just make things worse.

Agreed. So...what happens now?

It is done; the bell invites me. Here it not, for it is a knell That summons me to heaven or hell.

You always loved your quotes.

Not as much as the love that I have for Kirstie. Brandon, Can I ask for one more favour from you?

Ask.

I want you to watch over her when I'm gone. Be there for her...because I won't be. Would you promise me this?

I promise.

Thank you.

If there is nothing else, I too will take my leave.

Farewell Brandon. For death holds no secrets from a man who enters the shroud of his own accord.

Goodbye brother.

Cheers
Healing Poet

Winter sunrise

2008-08-06T21:48:00.003+08:00

The weary traveller walks through
Shadow, eyes flitting from crack
To crevice. eyes wide as they scan
The snow and ice, looking

He knows they are around him, he
Can't hide from the haunting cadavers
That follow him. Every step shadowed
Every look mimicked, he cannot hide.

One grabs his leg, he panics, shoves
Away the mangled hand. They are
Closing in on him. He cant run or
Hide. They close in on him.

Then as one, they all vanish as
The first ray's of sunlight wash
Over the white landscape, Rendering
Darkness to but a shadow below the traveller

He blinks. Wondering if it was
Real. He takes comfort in the warm
Light, invigorating him, livening him.
He walks on. Leaving behind the nightmare

The mangled hand lies buried in the ice

cheers
Healing Poet

Raising Roses

2008-08-06T07:12:00.002+08:00

Well, time to raise another few roses.

I raise a rose to one who has lost her way, so that she may find it again. When all seems lost, know that you can still follow the footsteps of those who came before you

I raise a rose not to a friend, but to a memory of a friend. I hope wherever you are now, whatever you are doing, you are happy.

Cheers

Healing Poet

Mindset

2008-08-02T16:16:00.003+08:00

School helps keep it in check, projects help keep it focused, and so on and so forth. But lets face it, my brain is loosing control. Already I find it hard to string sentences together to make them sound coherent, already I find myself losing my train of thought. Words float around me drawing my focus out. The book is on hold till further notice.

My soul, though frayed, is alive. My body is battered, but well. But my mind is dying. Souls can be revitalised, My body can heal. but my mind cant be replaced. whatever I lose is lost.

Even reading comes harder now. I used to be able to pick up a book and read from sunrise to sunset without noticing the time. I used to spend hours and hours reading and rereading my favourites. Now it takes a huge effort just to do so.

Need to pull myself out of this rut. need to get back up.

Falling slowly, but no one can see
Me, no one to find my broken sword
Stabbed into the rock that is my Soul

The rock that is my sanctuary

No one will move, budge, tamper
Destroy, break or bend it.

However, on the rock stands a

House, once standing tall and bold
Now, every stone worn down, every tile
Cracked, Memories are all that remain.

Even windows let no light through

Steadfast in my values, unyielding in
Spirit, but even they cannot save me from
The darkness outside the failing light,
For already the flames begin to flicker

My memories give me experience, give me power
But that power is fast leaving what once was
Soon even memories will not help me

I hold it in for however long I can

Hold it in till i no longer have the strength

Like a shroud it will engulf me.

Cheers

Healing Poet

Born to a Solstice

2008-07-28T21:31:00.002+08:00

A life that thrills the marble man
A life that fills the hole
Holds more value than the sculpted land
As that life becomes a goal

Experience gained through your amber eyes
Can never fool the best
For as the colours change, your eyes go blind
And memories are all you have left

You can live, but are you alive?
Is your spirit strong?
Not unless bound is your life
Between you and another, a bond.

Some memories fade, others stay
Etched into a failing spirit
But memories bring up what has gone away
Bring them back for a visit

Trails left on a summer solstice
It’s your choice to follow
But know which trail that should suffice
Lest it fades in the glow.

In the end, life rewards the waiting soul
Gives peace and removes strife
Joy not as a gift, but as a goal.
You live, but are you alive?

Cheers
Healing Poet

Red on Black

2008-07-25T21:54:00.001+08:00

Georgetown. Brings back so many memories. This may sound weird, but I miss dressing in professional attire. Oh well, life goes on

Words of Wisdom, Angels of Absolution

2008-07-18T21:47:00.004+08:00

No one makes it alone. There's always someone in the background. Even if some kid claims he crawled up from the depths of some neighbourhood and brought himself up of his own accord, thats a downright lie. Someone, whether living or dead, would have inspired him to do so. No one makes it alone.

"True wisdom is attained when you begin to think with your heart and feel with your brain"
Confused? So was I when I read this one. Now I know. Do you?

"You want to know what magic is? Its not changing a pack of cards to a bird, no pulling rabbits out of hats, no slight of hand. You don't have to sell your soul to do it. Now, when you see someone in need, and you help them, that feeling you get? Thats magic. When Someone is crying and you hold them till they stop. Now thats real magic. The tiniest gesture a human can make is enough to make someone happy. Now that...is the mystery"
A trusted friend said this to me once. He passed on already.

"You broke, burnt, shattered, tore, crushed, and other counless words which I won't bother to say, my heart. You were burning enough inside to leave me cold outside. You had no right, and yet you did it. And now, after I picked up the pieces, I finally put the last shard of myself back in place. As much as I want to return the favour to you, to drag you down, I am going to forgive you. I don't even know why I am doing this, only that I know I have to."
Don't know who said this. Actually I just cant remember.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others" - 'Our Deepest Fear' by Marianne Williamson. One of the most inspiring poems ever written.

Cheers

Healing Poet

Sprung to my mind

2008-07-16T11:37:00.003+08:00

The piano (The heart asks first/pleasure) by Michael Niman

Its just a piano/strings instrumental, but you can hear the emotion through every note. From the minor fall to the major lift, from the changes between minors and majors, when the strings sound their first note, its so...emotional.

Here are...some quotes that I found from a long time ago. Either I used them or they were said to me. I don't have to say whom I'm talking about because they know who they are :)

I never wished for someone who could offer me the moon and stars...just someone to lay down with and watch them is enough.

Sometimes loving can be so painful and difficult, but it's amazing to know that no matter howhard it is, loving someone is still the simplest reason why you always find yourself smiling."

Everyone in the world is scared. And sometimes, it takes two scared people to do one brave thing: to fall in love.

Reflections

2008-07-13T22:06:00.002+08:00

It was night. The grass, warmed by day, was just beginning to cool into a mellow feel as the two of them lay down to watch the sky. they leaned against the trunk of a large birch. the only one for miles around. T
here was something magical about the place to them, how the grass was always smooth and the tree always seemed to be there, its branches sheltering them by day and yet allowing them to see the stars through its leaves by night. Her head was resting just under his. She was leaning into him. He was keeping her warm.

Their heartbeats were synchronised.

Then they saw, off in the distant heavens. One, then two, then they all cascaded across the darkness. Wave after wave of light shone through the black. She saw the comets first hand.

He chose to look at them through her eyes.

Raising Roses

2008-07-12T20:14:00.002+08:00

Time to raise another few roses.

I raise a rose for someone who was, and still is, very special/very close to me. We may just be friends now, but it used to be more than that. Please know, I didn't want it to end like that. But I felt that otherwise I'd just hurt you even more if I pressed on with it. Please know that I still care for you

I raise a rose for two people, who for the past few weeks/months have been working themselves to the bone for school/other events. I wish you good luck, whether its exams or projects or performances that you have to do, I hope your load is lightened as time goes on.

Cheers, Healing Poet

First Chord

2008-07-11T10:11:00.002+08:00

Adrenaline pumping, I'm standing out here
Sweating and waiting for the moment that
Will release us all. I hear them
from Behind the velvet

As we wait, others scurry around

Us, checking and prepping. Making

Sure no slipups are made.

At last, we are ready. The curtain rises

One strum, one beat, we are ready

We rock tonight.

A short piece

2008-07-10T17:12:00.004+08:00

A life born on the plywood stage

Is bound by that which circumstance

Cannot create, only discover.

How true that is. Don't you think?

The 1st of a new tradition: Raising Roses

2008-07-08T20:25:00.006+08:00

Its time I introduced a new tradition to this blog. Raising Roses will be a slightly more frequent version of Raise a Rose, which I am starting a group for in Facebook. Every now and then I will honour someone on this blog. I will raise a rose for them.

I raise a rose for A man I met in the street today. He seemed troubled. I hope that whatever he is thinking about will resolve itself.

I raise a rose for a former friend. (two actually, for this can apply to both of them). I hope she knows that I'm ok, just as I hope that she is ok

I raise a rose for the one who fell so far. I hav seen you pull yourself back up. I wish you all the best as you make your way back to where you once were.

I raise a rose for my grandfather. May he make a speedy recovery from the heart attack.

Nostalgic about GYLC (again)

2008-07-07T19:53:00.008+08:00

Ok, its high time I uploaded pictures. here they are:

The morning sky in Washington DC.

My Roomates: Binsoo and Rushiel. Good times
Philadelphia. Don't ask about the sign or my hat
From left to right: Aswari, Katie Lee, Ashlynn, me, Katie P.E., and Cheryl
Dupont Circle fountain: Me, Hansen, Ossai, Darren, Pamela, and Deborah
New York cityline
Sunset and Lady Liberty: as seen from the cruise.
Thats all the pictures I want to upload for now. I'll upload more as and when I feel the need to

Cheers

Healing Poet

2008-07-07T10:03:00.002+08:00

Finally over that hump. I seriously was thinking about dropping. And even though I've refocused myself again, the idea is already there. Just hope I know what I'm doing.

Well on saturday met with GYLC friends for mugging session. Os, As, and my poly studies lol. We all just went to "create a learning environment", as andy put it. Well we actually did study. We also played bridge for like 20-30 minutes. I forget how long it actually was. It was Chris, Charis, Andy, Susana (charis's friend from vjc whom i just met that day) and me. It was nice to see them again. Even if we weren't all dressed professionally waiting for a simulation to take place.

Cheers
Healing Poet

highs and lows

2008-07-02T13:55:00.002+08:00

With every high, comes a low. At least thats how the saying goes. GYLC was great, but now that its over, I'm getting a bit....depressed? Not sure what word to use here. I'm more distant from my class than before I left, but I guess thats what happens when you don't have contact with them for three weeks. The workload isn't helping either. Missing a week of school sure can pile work up on you. I have alot of catching up to do.
Figures, im suffering from post GYLC depression
The fact is, all these things don't seem to matter much to me. I want to go back to GYLC. I liked it there. Being surrounded by people from different backgrounds and cultures...made me feel like I was back in Thailand again. I missed that. I still miss that. Even if it was only 12 days, in those 12 days, we did so much stuff together we sort of bonded lol. Almost like a 2nd family. Well that family is sort of spread out across the world. Sigh.

I've been thinking you know. Thinking a lot about whether this was something I really wanted to do. Sure, CMM is a great course. But lately, after going to GYLC, it's lost some of its appeal. I enjoy writing alot, but the writing I enjoy isn't the straightforward style they teach in journalism. I mean, what is the point in bringing the reader directly to the subject without them doing much thinking for themselves? I prefer a style of writing where the reader must make the journey themselves through the writing to get to the subject.

I've been thinking of dropping out of school. It isn't definite, I haven't thought much about it, just the "what if" phase. It would give me more time to work on my book. Richard Branson dropped out of high school, and look where he is now. Also, it would give me more time to do other things. Things that I've always wanted to try but never really had the time or guts to try. hmm. Makes you think doesn't it?

I want to be free, shake of these chains
And shackles that hold and hinder me
I want to jump up, grab the sky and be
Somebody, somebody that everyone
knows, that everyone loves, Someone
Who lives the life he wants to

Is that too much to ask?

Revelation

2008-06-30T10:16:00.002+08:00

I am strong because I show weakness
I am correct because I know my mistakes
I am a lover because I am a fighter
I have no fear because I have already shown it
I can be wise because I was foolish
I can smile because I know how to cry.

Cheers
Healing Poet

Back from the USA

2008-06-28T17:22:00.002+08:00

Well things there were really really fun. I already miss people. But it had to end sometime :)

from Washington we went to New York city. we stayed on the campus of Manhattan College, which I must say was quite....interesting I must say.

The cruise/dance was on the last night we spent in new york, so that was fun. the only chance we had to break loose and get rid of the tension gathered over the past couple of weeks. Danced with a few people.

I have to say, being around so many people from so many places made me feel...like I was back in my international school. so many different races there, I actually felt relaxed around them lol. Funny eh?

so many people. especially from my LGM. Its amazing how close we got to each other in only 12 days.

Have to go for now. Pics will be uploaded soon.
Cheers
Healing Poet

Global Scholar

2008-06-20T18:20:00.002+08:00

Currently in :Sheraton National Hotel, Arlington VA

well the conference is actually quite fun lol. Just that we have really weird timings sometimes. got to see the white house and the holocaust museum. even went to the lincoln memorial. today we're doing a simulation for the UN security council. hope I get Ambassador as a role. Alot easier for me

Hmm, didn't expect that to be said. Oh well, what's done is done. Don't worry.
thats all i have to say for now. the following is an excerpt from the book I'm writing. Enjoy :)

"The sun rises anew everyday. The Eastern Light casts long shadows across the rocks and trees. As it rises, the shadows retreat, till they are almost non existent, when the sun is highest in the sky, only visible in cracks and crevices. Then, as it drops, shadows become bolder, creeping out of their holes and pits. Till finally, the Western Fire falls, and the world is once agen plunged into darkness. Even then, we are not made blind, for we are granted the stars, small pinpricks of light, the very beacons of hope we strive for."

Cheers
Healing Poet

Edit

2008-06-14T11:45:00.001+08:00

That'll do just fine :)

hmm, I thought the book would be great if I did it like an epistolory, but the intro sort of doesn't fit in with the rest of the book, so scrap that. I'm starting from scratch. Keeping the intro (well most of it), but changing the style completely. I'll let you all know what its gonna be like when I actually finalise it.

GYLC tmr!!!! spending two weeks in Washington DC and New York City as part of a global scholars conference isnt actually top on my list of things I want to do this summer, but hey, it should be fun. Only problem is I have to be at the airport at friggin 3 am. That sucks.

So, untill after i come back, Au revoir mes chers et cheries,
Healing Poet

Book

2008-06-03T19:43:00.003+08:00

I started writing again. Not just poetry either :P. I'll let you know whether I actually make the effort to finish this piece this time. I'll probably be done...next june, taking in to consideration the length and the amount of time I would try to put into it.

A book lol. Or something as close to a book as I can. Something for my own personal use. I started to write one some time ago. "Seasons of Emotion" I called it, but I never actually got past the first 7 pages or so. Maybe I better get that one done first before I even think about trying to start a new one.

Characters that appear in Seasons of Emotion (well I plan on including them anyway)(and in no particular order)
Ethan Livingstone
Althea Livingstone
Trent Arnolds
Stacey Reynolds
Enrique Bavaris
Sylvie Étoile
Yves Sandoute
Michael Cheng
Rachel Yang
Olivia Yang
Antoine Salvatore
Raven Berkeley

I'll try to fit them all in somehow. Every character is different. I may add some more as I write.

Cheers
Healing Poet

Les Examens

2008-06-01T19:11:00.002+08:00

New month, so its an occasion to remember. The rest of this post will be in french.

Les Examens avez commencer la semaine prochaine. M'aide s'il vous plait. Je ne suis pas prêt. Journalisme est plus facile, parce que j'ai fait avant. C'est médias et société qui est difficile. C'est très embrouillant. Comment est-ce que la différence entre liberitarian et responsabilité sociale?

J'essayerai de faire mon meilleur. Mais je pense également à d'autres choses

Bientôt
Poèt Curatif

ultimatum?

2008-05-30T07:13:00.004+08:00

Currently listening: I survived you by clay aiken
Ironic choice of song huh? I ran out of stuff to listen to. Need to go find more music.

If you're still wondering, yea. Its normal. You want to know something? At this moment I don't care if you hate me/want to drive a knife through my head. You want to blame me for everything? Fine. I know I did some things I shouldn't have done, but I'm sure as hell not accepting responsibility for EVERYTHING you threw at me.

Come to think of it, maybe you're right. This should never have happened. It. Should. Never. Have. Happened.

You keep talking of what I've done to your life, how "peachy"? Well come out of YOUR little world and look around for a few moments. You aren't the only one whose life feels like crap you know.

Whatever. You want to be left alone now. I'll do that.

Still, I refuse to live with regrets, so I am going to say it now.
no regrets no regrets no regrets no regrets.

Healing Poet

Catharsis? maybe not.

2008-05-29T14:23:00.005+08:00

I've been typing and deleting alot of lines so far, so bear with me. This is hard to word.

I feel left out...of alot of things really. Maybe I'm just imagining it, but everyone, especially a few people, is starting to feel distant. Old friends, new friends, doesn't matter. They're distancing. and I dont like the feeling. Sometimes they feel so distant I don't know if I should even say anything at all, because I might drive them further.

I...cant help being who I am, I cant help it. Its something everyone has to live with, whether thats a good thing or bad thing I still don't know.

Its times like these when I really feel I can relate to ballads/slow rock/anything with slow heavy bass, violins and nitty gritty singing. The raw emotion that goes through each song.

Exams coming up. I should be ok with them, unless something goes horribly wrong. and not much can go wrong right?
OK.....I'm going to take a break from that. here are some great lines I've come across over time
Light draws our eyes, but shadows hold more stories
I am the one who will stay behind to pick up the pieces and make something beautiful out of them.
Many people speak through words. but a writer has to be able to make words speak for themselves.
Life's like Dark chocolate. Bittersweet

Cheers
Healing Poet

2008-05-27T08:42:00.003+08:00

Currently listening to: does it matter? you know its gonna be a slow rock song :)

I started listening to them more and more often lately. I think it's because I'm starting to prefer the more soulful/emotional songs. So, people like (in no particular order) David Cook, Aerosmith, Extreme, Rolling Stones, The Cure, Journey, Duran Duran, Peter Gabriel, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Green day (at least that september song), Nirvana, Eric Clapton, Hinder, the Scorpions, Guns n' Roses Etc. The list goes on and on and on and on.....Oh, almost forgot poison as well. not a bad band.

Currently stuck on some songs by Michael Johns.
"Dream on...dream on...dream on...dream untill your dreams come true"

You can hear the emotion from his voice lol. I can sing abit, as in like for leisure kind of thing. but I'll admit, I will NEVER be able to sing like that.

To whoever reads this, if you want a challenging read, read "Mirror Mirror" by Gregory Macguire. Incredibly hard to read, but once you understand it you won't put the book down. Alot of great one liners in the book as well.

In a heartbeat, anything can happen
Wars can start, senses can sharpen
Peace can be made, a life can be torn
A love can broken, then reborn

Was taught (by myself) to smile all the time. I'm happy to say I can still do that :P. Go me.

Cheers
Healing Poet

time of our lives

2008-05-24T21:55:00.004+08:00

Lyrics from "the time of our lives" by david cook. lyrics I really want to be able to say I live up to.

I've been waiting for my dreams
To turn into something I could believe in
And looking for that Magic rainbow
On the horizon

I couldn't see it Until I let go
Gave into love and watched all the bitterness burn
Now I'm coming alive, body and soul
And feelin' my world start to turn

And I'll taste every moment
and live it out loud I know this is the time,
This is the timeTo be more than a name
Or a face in the crowd I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life

Holding onto things that vanished Into the air
Left me in pieces
But now I'm rising from the ashes
Finding my wings

And all that I needed
Was there all along
Within my reach
As close as the beat of my heart

So I'll taste every moment And live it out loud
I know this is the time,This is the time to be
More than a nameOr a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life

And I'm out on the edge of forever
Ready to run I'm keeping my feet on the ground
My arms open wide
My face to the sun

I'll taste every moment
And live it out loud I know this is the time,
This is the time to be more than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life
Time of my life

More than a name
Or a face in the crowd
I know this is the time
This is the time of my life.
This is the time of my life.

hmm....

2008-05-22T16:24:00.004+08:00

I've been thinking. I can play around with words all I want. I could make great writings, I mean the stuff that will be remembered years from now.

I can imagine can't I?

But whatever I write, there's always going to be that drop of emotion, that sliver of feeling that I'm not going to be able to transfer into them. Whether its happy, depressing or downright heartbreaking...I'm not that good to be able to express everything. So this post is for that drop of emotion that I haven't been able to express.

A drop of my soul that I can't write

Its always within me.

It keeps me sane when times aren't bright

Thats how it's always been.

A spoken word for the unwritten

A heartbeat for the still

The life you want that comes unbidden

and from your spine, a chill.

A shard of my life left intact

A morsel of my spirit

Kept safe from pain and hurtful facts

It whithstands the roughest grit

Cheers

Healing Poet

2008-05-21T21:07:00.002+08:00

Its not the quality of the written word, but the qualities of the person who wrote the world.

I think I finally figured that part out.

Everyone has their own flaws, but its these flaws that makes everyone perfect in their own little way. You see, the way I see it, everyone is like one piece of an incredibly large jigsaw puzzle. we're just one part of a beautiful picture. And there's always that one piece that fits perfectly, right beside it.

Flying high on an eagle's wings
I feel it come my way
A feeling not felt even by kings
A life has formed this day

Cheers
Healing Poet
PS. I'm concerned for you. hope you're ok. If not, hope you're coping well with it. So much more I wanna say, but nothing more I can.

Chronicled and archived May 20th 2008

2008-05-20T22:19:00.004+08:00

A new dawn, a new day rises. As the first ray of sun hits the sea, you can watch it glitter like so many diamonds are hidden in them. the light, warm but not yet harsh, washes over the landscape. It bathes the entire region in light. It creates crevices of darkness, shadows where there was complete blackness only minutes before.

I am a candle. We shine best in the dark, when all other lights have gone out.

2008-05-17T11:02:00.003+08:00

Its official, I'm losing my mind.

I broke down last night. With everything that happened recently, I broke down. I felt like shit today. Both physically and emotionally, though the physically part only started today. Everyone said I looked like crap, but I was still smiling. Well I felt like crap as well. You know, if anyone asked me in person if I was ok, I'd always say yes, even if it was a downright lie. Well last night, everything came full circle. I buckled under the weight/pressure/emotions. It seems like everything is trying to wreak havoc on me. I need to hold out.

Last night was the first nite in over a week that I've actually slept more than 4 hours, and that's only because I was sick. Had no dreams during that sleep (thank god).

Yesterday was fun(ny) after ccn (by the way we made a profit of $6.50 -_-') went with kevon and liwei to go and meet jiayu yenling and siew yin at library where we waited for yanling huda and ina to come. already felt sick then, but still had fun, still laughed alot.
Losing myself inside
I'm not ok right now. My head hurts, and whats going on in my head hurts.
Breaking Down
You know, maybe its because I havn't been sleeping lately that I fell sick, maybe I've been stressing myself out too much. But maybe I'd be lying if i said that that was all there is to it.

I still smile. As much as I can. But truthfully, I have no idea how much longer I can smile.
STAY STRONG
Hopefully I can do that.

Cheers
Healing Poet

Tears of an Angel

2008-05-14T22:39:00.003+08:00

In the corner of a plain white room she crouches

Tears streaming from her eyes

Her clothes are tattered and torn like so many pouches

Her broken wings cant fly

There was a time, when she still flew, when all was well

Her wings drew strength from her heart

She watched over those who needed her care

In caring, she played her part

Then one fateful day, with clouds gray in the sky

It was gray because she was hurt

She tried to shake it off, pretend she was alright

But her tears started staining her shirt

From the sky she then fell, lower and lower

Till finally she crashed to the ground

With two wounded wings she still tried to hover

But the strength from her heart was not found

So she hid in the white room, away from all sight

just tending her broken wings

on her bed she'd lost hope, she nearly gave up

But hope is a funny thing.

She saw a shadow, standing over her form.

She looked up with eyes so red

She stared into eyes, eyes warm like the sun

He lifted her up from her bed

In his arms she lay, her heart began to glow

Into his shirt she cried

After a time, the tears ceased to flow

and again she felt she could fly

He spent the night there, cradling her

Making sure she was alright

The next morning, he was gone, but she found a feather

It wasn't hers, and it made her feel light.

Again she now flies, the lone feather in hand

Now and again she remembers

The stranger, he's there, watching from below

With two wings he still likes to walk

Cheers

Healing Poet

Confession

2008-05-13T20:37:00.005+08:00

Shit....I realli don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore. The last few days went buy in a blur. I hope I'm not going crazy....then again, I hope so. Things would be so much simpler.

Tried to sleep again last night, got a couple of hours worth till I couldn't take it anymore. So I got up and reread I am the Messenger till first light. At least I'm still trying to sleep.

I...hope, for want of a better word, that I know what I'm doing, that I can trust myself. Because if things go wrong, if I mess up at anything, God help me.

I said I wouldn't, but I have to
I know I Shouldn't, but I want to.

Can you blame me for that? Maybe.

I tried to cope. I'm still trying, the effort is there. but I'm not sure if the results are.

Somebody show me a sign please....

Is this worth it? Yea, I feel that way. Its worth every every minute of it.

Healing Poet

Sleepless in Singapore

2008-05-12T07:18:00.002+08:00

Great, another night with no sleep, and not because I want to stay up.

Been like this since friday, come to think of it, and its driving me off the edge.

Its hard enough with the workload we have in school. But now I have to go through with it like an insomniac

Well this so rocks.....

Healing Poet

...

2008-05-11T22:07:00.001+08:00

Going in blind. I hate going in blind.

Another Glimpse....

2008-05-09T22:09:00.003+08:00

Since we're on the subject of my past, now would also be a good time to tell you about another aspect of myself.

This will be a shorter post than last time.

I'm always there for other people, even though those people can't always be there for me. There's a reason for this.

My ex, back when we were still together. was always there for me. In thailand, workload was alot easier, so I was able to put in alot of effort into our relationship. As time went on though, the workload increased, and I found that at times, I wasnt always there for her, but I could always rely on her to be there for me when I needed the support.

Over time, I started slipping, and still she was there for me. She said it was ok, that she knew what I was going through, and that she was alright with it.

The thing was, I was the one who wasn't alright with it. After seeing her put that much effort into keeping our relationship alive, and seeing how much effort I put in, I couldn't bear it. It wasn't alright for me that she was the only one who was doing as much as she could.

After a year, we ended our relationship. Not because we couldn't stand the sight of each other, but because I wasnt comfortable with me just doing that much.

The day we broke up, she said to me: "I'll always be to lend an ear, I'll always be there for you, even though you're not always there for me"

Till today, we still talk alot. She's become something like a big sister (figuratively speaking, as she was only 1.52m tall) to me, and her last words she said to me have become sort of my de facto motto.

When all has gone dark, and the moon is gone
I'll be the lone candle, thats lit and found
Though the path may be gone, and the fear creeps in
I'll be right there, to guide you like your kin

I'm still there for you, even if you're not
Its all I can do, its all that I've got
Just remember, when your fire's drowned out
My fire's there, helping without a sound

Whether in the fields or behind closed doors
Whatever happens, my heart will beat with yours - Anonymous

Cheers
Healing Poet

Penny for my thoughts

2008-05-07T07:25:00.003+08:00

I'll admit, I'm a little bit confused. I don't know what I stand for anymore. I'm not even sure of what I want to stand for. The feeling kinda sucks, but at least I'm still smiling

Someone once told me "smiles are happy things :) smile more". And I did.

These past 3 weeks or so felt more like 3 months if you ask me. It's been a rollercoaster both physically and emotionally for me. But hey, c'est la vie lol.

Cheers
Healing Poet

c:/command_execute

2008-05-06T20:15:00.001+08:00

Post deleted on 6th May 2008, 8:15 PM

Healing Poet

How to live a life

2008-05-05T19:38:00.002+08:00

What's a life? how do you live it?

Is a life single, or plural? I tell you now....

A life is just a heartbeat, the steady rhythm of a system operating
But how you live it...that is entirely different.

How to live a life

A life aint just single. a life is plural
You don't own it, but others help you create it.
You may think that you are alive because of life
But life, it seems, has its own heartbeat

Be good to it, and it will reward you.
And yet abuse it, and it is still willing to forgive
In often used words, you reap what you sow
It's life's mechanics. Thats how it goes.

To live a life, you must live not just for yourself
If everyone did, then this world will not connect
But if all of us, forgot about "self"
Strife would end then and there, I'm willing to bet.

to live life, one must love life, and love those in it.
life is love, and love is life. its never too late to start
a man who stands alone may live, but he is not alive.
for life when in love, gives hope to those not alive.

love me, heal me, never leave me
hold me, hug me, watch over me
keep me, help me, pray for me
hurt me, scold me, then forgive me
raise me, know me, feel for me
feed me, show me, lie with me
love me, heal me, stay with me.

Just felt in the writing mood :-)
Healing Poet

Plaza Sing

2008-05-04T11:32:00.007+08:00

Ok, so we basically started off the day at Paya Lebar MRT. I was early by about 20 minutes (as usual), then Kevon came, then Li wei, Siew Yin. then we went to go and buy doughnuts from this place called Munchy Doughnuts, which I could have gone straight to from my house with number 10 (thx liwei), and saved some time lol.

We bought 12 doughnuts, ate 4. they were actually quite good. Then we went back to Paya Lebar to meet Huda, then took the train to Dhoby Ghaut. We waited there for a loooooong time, for Yen Ling and Karhong to arrive, which, technically they never did. oh well. we just sat near the wall and basically laughed our heads off.

Yea, so there's me laughing my head off at something I cant remember. I think Huda took that pic.

Ok, here's the story behind this chimp like photo lol. Huda had a can of instant streamers, which she sprayed at kevon's hair, forgetting he had hair wax on. so she helped to pick out all the tiny pieces out of his hair. We were all laughing and taking so many picture of this lol.

Ok, this was Yan ling's birthday baguette. since we thought a cake was too boring. notice some of the stands of the candles are different. Those are re-lighting candles. gave Yan ling a hell of a time trying to blow them out lol.

for now, thats all i can bother to upload. more to come soon :P until then, another poem to finish this post.

Mistake

I'm walking along the beach

You were walking right beside me

I leave footprints in the sand

Your footprints were next to me

Now I just stand in the sea

the water coming up in waves

You're no longer right beside me

You don't care what I gave

We used to stroll along the street

Things would catch our eye

We used to stop here and there

Why did I make you mine?

Now the streets are empty

As empty as the grey sky

papers blow down the road

They're pictures of you and I

Why didn’t I make you mine?

Cheers

Healing Poet

1st post ever

2008-05-03T09:52:00.000+08:00

Ok, first post on a new blog. First chapter in a new part of life....TP!!!!!! lol

The old blog died...literally. i couldnt find anything to say on the last one. its almost as if it was a different me. well now things are different, though some part of me wishes things were the same. it was alot simpler back then. But it's still early. Who knows?

Accion outing is later today. Going for dinner with them. Celebrating Yan Ling's bday with the others first.

1st post, means 1st poem has to go on! Yay lol.

PS. the title for this poem was originally meant to be "Angel in Blue Jeans", but thats actually a Maroon 5 song. so i changed it.

With an angel

She has wings, she walks barefeet
She’s just in some plain blue jeans
When she smiles, the world is calm
And so am I when her hand’s on my palm

The sun has set, the moon has risen
The stars in her eyes, just like the river
Her head’s on my chest, wings folded gently
Lying on the cool evening grass, against the trunk of a tree

She can take me soaring, over the great city lights
I’m in her arms, she’s holding me tight
Her wings make no sound, the wind waves her hair
For while I fly with her, I’m in her care

Now she lies down, her head on my chest
I play with her hair, it’s a well deserved rest
I wrap my arms round her, and into me she curls
It’s my turn to care, my turn to be the angel.

Cheers
Healing Poet